My Verbal Constipation

Friday, March 20, 2009

The Revival- Important life lessons I have learnt in my time in England

Yet another attempt on my part to revive my blogging habits, which never was a very active habit of mine to start with!

I quite randomly stumbled upon my blog again. I have to thank facebook for this, (our generations latest addiction and the centre of most conversations) where i realised i had put up some of the posts from here. Reading it made me think about who i was 2 years ago (thats the date of mt last post! i know.. im bad!) How many things have changed. How much i have changed (the essence is still the same) and.. how i find that i cant really write anymore sadly enough! maybe its because im tooo busy to let my mind wander, maybe its because im out of practice(?) maybe its because as we gro older we lose those rose tinted glasses we look at life through? or maybe its simply because i dont really have much to say and no real fodder to fuel my creativity!

since my last post... I finally finished my wretched journalism degree from MOP Vaishnav hell house for women, worked in a radio station, moved to England to do my masters in Film and Media production. Which i'm still doing fyi. Moved in with good friends from the course into our own little house where we spend all day watching movies, making movies, and of course... slowly yet steadily killing our brain cells.

This is my attempt at trying to re kindle my creative mojo. so without further adieu... here it is:

Important life lesso s i have learnt in my time in England:
1) Chips means fries.

2) Crisps mean, well, chips... and not of the fries variety

3) A pint is not those little bottles of corona/kf but actually 450 ml

4) Chavs are what you and i back home call porikkis

5) Goldflake IS the best cigarette in the whole wide world

6) How to use a washing machine

7) How to use a dishwasher

8) How to roast/bake something in an oven

9) That bread can actually be frozen!

10) That radiators are brilliant to dry clothes on. And if you do it right you don’t even have to
bother ironing them!

11) However radiators are not an alternative to the microwave. No matter how drunk you are,
remember, you CANNOT reheat pizza just by placing it strategically on a radiator. If you don’t have a microwave, use the oven!

12) That money does not grow on trees and that it is possible to be so broke that you eat boiled rice and stale bread for a week!

13) That there is a world out there with an internet connection so fast you can download an entire season of a tv show in 3 hours.

14) That having downloaded various seasons using above mentioned connection you can watch 64 consecutive hours of something breaking only to use the toilet... or make a cup of coffee/boil rice since you don’t have any money to do anything else anyway!

15) That if you’re broke DONT BUY NEW CLOTHES WITH WHAT LITTLE YOU HAVE! Use is to buy food instead.

16) Consumables have an expiry date for a reason.

17) Clothes don’t magically wash themselves, so don’t wait till you have nothing to wear before you do your laundry.

18) If you find that you don’t have any clean clothes, the alternative is NOT to go buy new clothes!!!

19) WEAR A SEAT BELT! ALWAYS!! No matter how short a distance you’re travelling!

20) It is impossible to walk on a moving bus without me falling over.

21) It is impossible for me to walk without falling over.

22) That if there are three people who drink in a house, it is possible to accumulate over 155 bottles of beer /wine in 3 months. RECYCLE!!!!!

23) Tea is a far superior drink to coffee. No wonder the English drink so much of it.

24) Cold is NOT better than heat.

25) That banning smoking in pubs and clubs is a BAD idea. And for those of you who say “o thank god, now my hair will not smell of cigarettes” i say... i would rather my hair smell of cigarettes than have to stay in a place which smells of stale beer, throw up, piss and sweat.

26) I HATE LETTUCE!

27) My i-pod is my best friend.

28) My laptop is my family.

29) Having a McDonalds drive thru right next door does nothing to improve one’s culinary skills.

30) Nothing can improve my culinary skills

31) Go cheap manual labor.

32) Asian people grow like a fungus. WE’RE EVERYWHERE!

33) It’s possible to live in a city and know only about 30 odd people (yes i sat and counted).

34) It is possible to walk into a bar and not know everyone sat at each table.

35) There’s no place like home... that being said Sheffield comes very close.

Posted by tanjanali :: 10:36 AM :: 5 Comments:

Post / Read Comments

-------------------------------------